Gullible is Written on the Ceiling
by Crystal M. Key
Summary: Harry, raised by Sirius, is put on the Hogwarts Express.


"Sirius," Harry whined. "Why won't you lighten my trunk, or levitate it, or something? I said I was sorry."

"_Said_, yes," Sirius hissed. "Meant, no. Do you know how many funny looks I've gotten for having long purple hair just since getting to the Platform?"

"Seventeen?" Harry guessed.

"Close," Sirius admitted, "nineteen. But this is my revenge since I won't be able to prank you back until Christmas. And you will _regret_ that you touched my hair."

"Oooh," Harry mocked. "The big, bad Black is protective of his silky locks." He snorted. "Do any of these people realize just how much hair care crap you own?"

"Ix-nay on the ampoo-shay! And it's not like you use _any_, considering that mop of yours."

"Which I come by quite naturally, thank you very much." Harry pretended to fluff his hair. "People always say I look like my father with my mother's eyes, but I'm pretty sure I got my vanity from you."

"That's because you stole it out of my room," Sirius rolled his eyes. "Get on the train, you little ingrate."

"Yes, Sirius, whatever you say, Sirius," Harry said, ducking the dope-slap. "I'll see you at Christmas."

"You better write to me tonight and tell me which house you're in, so that we can appropriately welcome the other houses!"

"You just wish you were coming with me," replied Harry. He wasn't quick enough to dodge the noogie.

"Go, already," Sirius said, giving his godson a quick manly hug. "I'll see you later."

Harry waved and dragged his trunk to an empty compartment. He pulled out a prank journal from Sirius and began to read.

The compartment door opened. "Can I sit here?" a redhead asked. "Everywhere else is full."

Harry shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"I'm Ron, Ron Weasley," the boy said.

"And I'm Harry, Harry Potter," he replied. Before the other could do more than gape, he continued. "You know, you don't look much like a Ron. Are you sure that's not your middle name? You look more like a Moe to me."

"Naw, my middle name is," Ron glanced around before whispering, "Bilius. But I hate it, my Uncle Bilius was a bit off, if you know what I mean."

"That's a terrible thing, being saddled with a name you don't like," Harry sympathised. "But you like 'Ron', right?"

"Sure," said Ron, clearly confused.

Harry clapped his hands. "Then it's simple! Change your middle name to Ron."

"Then," the redhead paused. "But Ron Ron sounds even worse than Ron Bilius."

"Hmm, you're right," Harry mused. "Then you'll just have to change your first name, too!"

"To what? Bilius Ron? I don't like Bilius!"

"To Moe! Moe Weasley," Harry exclaimed.

"Moe Weasley," said Ron, testing out the sound of it. "It's okay, but what is Moe short for?

"How about Morris?" Harry suggested. "Morris Ronald Weasley, now doesn't that sound stately?"

Ron thought. "That sounds pretty good, actually. But everyone already knows that my name is Ron."

"Well, then you ought to go tell them so that they get used to your new name as soon as possible," said Harry. "I'll wait here, okay Ron?"

"Sure- wait! You have to call me Moe! That's my new name."

"Alright, Moe. I'll see you 'round," Harry said as the boy stood up. "Oh, hey, could you do me a favor? I know the ceiling of the Great Hall is enchanted to look like the sky, but I heard that special people can find the word 'gullible' in it. Would you pass that along for me?"

"You got it, Harry!" The redhead gave a thumbs-up. "You're a great mate, I'll see you later."

Harry sighed as the door closed. _'_This_ is what I've got to work with?'_

Later, a pair with the same red hair as Ro- Moe, walked in and sat across from Harry.

"So," one said. "We understand that our dear-"

"Stupid!" the other interjected helpfully.

"Thank you, Gred, our dear _stupid_ little brother is now introducing himself-"

"To everyone who's ever known him-"

"As Moe now?" they chorused.

"What can I say?" said Harry. "He seems to like the change."

Not-Gred snorted. "Yes, but he also credits you with telling him 'gullible' is written in the ceiling of the Great Hall. 'For special people', he says."

"Indeed I did."

"So you seriously convinced our little brother to introduce himself as Moe-Ron?" Gred queried.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, please," Harry waved magnanimously, before smirking. "Sirius is my godfather."

AN: That's it. This came about because in Ron-bashing fics, he is usually called the moRon at least once. Also, If Sirius raised Harry, I can't see him letting such a golden opportunity slide.


End file.
